Luke is 26 and has yearly goals

1. My bookshelf under-represents women. By the end of college things were more balanced, but in the past four years the masculine side has gotten out of hand. I’d like to read more books with female authors: memoirs, philosophy, fiction, maybe even dry histories. Send in yr recs in the comments. Could definitely be expanded to music collection, films, tv shows.

2. Must post more often. I like putting up weekend posts, because it’s weird how the supposedly loose and informal internet has synced with the working week. So let’s make a promise, blog, that’s I’ll post to you at least once a day, 5 days a week.

3. The are a number of issues which tear me in two directions. I would like to steer myself either toward being ok with this state of affairs, or resolving them for the time being (my meta-problem, if you will). My problems include:

  • I’m not a prolific writer, reader, or worker, but I feel like I should be. There’s a little voice in my head that chides me when I don’t take time every day to write or read a book, for instance. See items 1 and 2. I can’t decide which situations warrant heeding the voice. And sometimes I wonder if I’d be happier if I murdered the pipsqueak.
  • working within routine structures (eg exercise every day at X a.m.) or letting myself get lost and carried away about some fleeting passion (like the other night when I stayed up until 230 reading online about the Streets of Rage videogame series) I feel more alive when I’m in the moment, doing the latter, but later on I regret, say, waking up really late or going without any sleep.
  • I work hardest when I’m measuring myself against others, comparing timelines, picking up on (mis)perceived slights and running with them. After reading an article about Gilbert Arenas in 2006 I decided this was an unhealthy and untenable way for me to navigate life. But I’ve had problems finding motivation ever since.

4. find something altruistic that I can do with authenticity. When I’ve volunteered in the past, it’s been like eating my vegetables. And to be honest I’m a commitment-phobe when it comes to having a pet issue or cause.

5. Learn how to argue for my emotional commitments. I’ve spent most of the decade in academia, but I don’t really like arguing with people because I tend to make a lot of decisions based on emotional response rather than appealing to reason. I have a good grasp on when this behavior is beneficial and when it means I should step aside, but I haven’t learned how to stand up for my emotional commitments in discussion with people ruled by reason.

I wish myself way more than luck.

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